When you met your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, you were probably prepared for the basic compromises that come with a relationship, but did you expect to sacrifice your career for the sake of your spouse?

This is a question that plagues recruiters daily.  We even have a term for this type of situation; it is called “trailing spouse."  Trailing Spouses are a big problem for recruiters; the company wants to hire you, but in order to get you to say “yes,” they have to help out your spouse so you can happily move together.

This problem has plagued me both professionally and personally. My partner (who is also a Microsoft employee) and I have pursued various other opportunities during our combined 12 careers at Microsoft, and while the buzz of the Silicon Valley has called to us many times, we have never been able to both line up compelling jobs at exactly the same moment; so we (happily) remain.

What can you expect from your recruiter if you have a trailing spouse? It depends.  There is no policy or formal program in place to help your mate, so it largely depends on the motivation of your recruiter to help.  My advice if this is your situation is as follows:

• Mention your spouse’s employment as a concern early in the process.
• Have your partner get independently motivated early on to drive their own job hunt.
• Send your mate’s resume to your recruiter early.
• Make note on the resume that no relocation is necessary (or better yet, use a local address).  Since you will relocate as a couple there is no additional expense to an employer on a second relocation package.

Good Luck ... and keep that bickering to a minimum.   Happy endings always include getting to keep your sweetheart.

-Jenna